Social skills are like steel. Left unattended both get rusty. November 15, 2010Posted by walterknitty in Life Lessons, Year of Me.
One of the things I’m working on in the “Year of Me” is to break out of my shyness and make new friendships. Hanging out, observing healthy relationships, both platonic and romantic, learning how to talk to others and make friendships. In short: social interaction.
After 3 years of having little social interaction with people outside of work, M, and C, I’m a little rusty. I didnt have a whole lot of social interaction with C anyway outside of a 2-5 minute conversation once or so a day. I’m shy to begin with and having to talk to people does make me nervous. My biggest fears are social faux pas, saying something stupid, foot in mouth disease, etc. I also fear being judged for what comes out of my mouth when I open it. This is especially acute around new people.
However, I am trying and will continue to try.
It starts with being laundry rescued. I do not have a washer and dryer in my apartment. The laundromat is my least favourite place to go. I hate, hate, hate, going to the laundromat. Not long ago Rabbit (half of a couple Hawkeye is friends with and introduced me to) said I could come to their place and use their washer/dryer. It took a few weeks but I sucked it up, overcame my fear, and asked if I could do the deed at their place. Saturday I packed my things up, packed myself onto the bus, and headed over.
I was nervous. I’m sure I said some dumb things and I have no doubt that I came down with foot in mouth disease at some point, but, I was invited back! As I get to know these two people better and their adorable boy, I will become less nervous and have fewer incidents of foot in mouth disease.
Having friends and maintaing friendships is a skill. Like any skill whether it be knitting, bicycling, cooking, crocheting, etc, you get better at it the more you do it. And, just like any skill, if you neglect it you get rusty. Friendships make life rich. Friends let you know if you’re on the wrong track of if the person you are dating is bad for you.
It wasnt until after C was gone for a few months that I realized just how isolated I had become. It wasnt until recently that I began to get an understanding of how rusty my social skills had become. Hopefully Rabbit and E will give me time and grace to grow a friendship with them.
I was invited back. That is as good a place as any to start.