Either Claire is out to get me or it’s Friday the 13th

Two posts in one day.  Can you believe it? 

I learned it was Friday the 13th today after I rushed out the door to catch my bus to come to work.  I should have been clued in long before that.  These should have been my clues:

1.  Back story.  I have a french press.  Last week when I was pushing down the plunger nearly boiling water came out of the pot and splashed my chin, lips and nose.  Hurt like hell.  My lips, chin, and nose are still peeling.  Anyway, this nearly happened again this morning.  Fortunately, I didnt have my face as close to the spout and it was turned away from me.

2. I couldnt find my shoes.  Right before I had to rush out the door I found them.

3.  I couldnt find my badge to let me into work.  It’s not where I normally leave it.  The security guard didnt want to let me in once I got to work.

4.  I almost forgot my lunch.

5.  I did forget to bring a piece of fruit.

6.  The law firm is hosting a retreat.  165 binders had to be put together by noon today.  I was doing really well, then I pinched my finger.

Now, I secretly think Claire (my cat) is out to get me.  I think she’s smarter than she pretends to be.  I think while I’m asleep she thinks up nefarious cat schemes to make it impossible for me to come to work.  She’s knocked my glasses between the bed and the wall (I cant see 2 feet in front of my face without them) amongst other things.  This is going to sound ridiculous.  I know it’s going to sound ridiculous.  But, I secretly think she hid my shoes and badge on purpose just so I wouldnt be able to come to work.  If I cant come to work it means I get to stay home which means she gets lots of attention, lots of petting.  Do you see where she’s going withthis?  She pretends to be innocently playing with a ball this morning, but secretly she’s laughing at me.  I bet this morning, after I got out of the shower, and we were meowing at each other she was telling me all about her nefarious scheme.  Knowing I wouldnt understand and telling me how stupid of a human I am for not understanding.  She’s a sneaky thing.

This entry was posted in Evil Grey Beast, Life Lessons. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Either Claire is out to get me or it’s Friday the 13th

  1. Samer says:

    I think you’re giving her too much credit. Unless this is somehow an evil twin that’s secretly abducted Claire and taken over her life.

    That might be it actually…

  2. Rain says:

    Just came across your blog today, my cat took over my house 2 years ago, dunno what else she might be plotting.

    They’re sneaky things indeed. Good luck!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s