Emms had Mormon missionaries in her neighbourhood a week or two ago. I shared this story with her and decided to share it here for you all to get a laugh. Maybe you could use it the next time someone comes to convert you to their religion.
My Dad is pretty handy. He can hang dry wall, do some wiring, plumbing, one summer he and his brothers built a garage, any remodeling they wanted done Dad did as much as he could with our help before calling in a contractor. He has the whole set of Time Life how to books and taught himself to build a deck.
When I was a teenager my parents decided to remodel the bathroom. The day Dad was going to take the cast iron tub out some Jehova’s came by sell him their religion. He told them “If you help me get this God damn mother fucking tub out of here I’ll listen to what you have to say!” He said the woman looked pretty stunned but they never came back.
Because it’s National Poetry month and it’s been so busy at work I’ve got nothing here’s Langston Hughes “Negro Speaks of Rivers”I’ve known rivers: I’ve known rivers ancient as the world and older than the flow of human blood in human rivers My soul has grown deep like the rivers. I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep. I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it. I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln went down to New Orleans, and I’ve seen its muddy bosom turn all golden in the sunset I’ve known rivers: Ancient, dusky rivers. My soul has grown deep like the rivers.